So, I'm going to preface this with a nice little disclaimer. This gentleman is basically a “ten” in my book. According to his profile, he's got a lot going for himself:

• Hispanic- Specifically Puerto Rican (Score!)
  
  
• Dark Hair (Double Score!)
  
  
• Dark Skin (Triple Score!)
  
  
• Bachelor's Degree (Double Existing Scores!)
  
  
• Sailor (High Five!)
  
  
• 6'5” and, from what I can tell, takes care of himself (JACKPOT!)
  
  

I'll be frank, the two of us probably shouldn't be in the same room. Regardless, we hit it off online so far and, naturally I ask him what he does for a living. The conversation goes a little something like this:

• Me: So, what do you do for a living?
  
  
• Ten: I'm a Hospital Corpsman.
  
  
• Me: Speaking of Corpsmen, one of the MP's on here actually got a pretty interesting call.
  
  
• Ten: Oh yeah?
  
  
• Me: Yeah, apparently, some grunt ate a poisonous beetle for fifty bucks. Who the hell does that?!? I guess some people didn't graduate from kindergarten?!?!
  
  
• Ten: Maybe I've been hanging out around my Marines too much- that actually sounds like a pretty good offer!
  
  
• Me: Ewww!
  
  
• Me: Do you go out in the field or are you one of the ones that works in the hospital?
  
  
• Ten: Field. You know a lot about the military, huh?
  
  
• Me: Two of my uncles were Marines.
  
  
• Ten: Fair enough. Lately, things have been pretty slow though.
  
  
• Me: Get anything interesting during Sick Call?
  
  
• Ten: Well, whenever some of my Marines go out and screw the slutty women in Jacksonville, they come to me whenever they have stuff coming out of their pee pee.
  
  
• Me: AH! YOU'RE THE PECKER CHECKER!
  
  
• Ten: Yes, I'm the Pecker Checker.
  
  

Three words: I want one! I mean, I really want one.




Naturally, a few weeks go by and I decide to give him a little nudge. I'm not being desperate but, I wanna see what he's up to. Plus, he's obviously a catch, so, why not? Now, here's how those conversations go:

• Ten: Hey gorgeous, how are you?
  
  
• Me: I'm good! Long time, no talk! How are you honey?
  
  
• Ten: I'm doing very well so far. How's your day going?
  
  
• Me: Pretty good! How was work?
  
  
• Ten: Meh, boring as fuck...
  
  
• Me: No pecker checking?
  
  
• Ten: Lol had 2 this week. It was funny cuz one dude had the biggest cock I've ever seen. I mean it put my 8 and a half inches to shame immediately....but then I had the tiniest micro penis I've ever seen and I felt better right away :p
  
  
• Me: Eight and a half inches, huh? Damn! What is the smallest cock that you've ever seen?
  
  
• Ten: It was literally less than an inch big. I've seen women with bigger clits.
  
  
• Me: The biggest I've heard of is ten inches.
  
  
• Ten: That you've experienced?!?!?!
  
  
• Me: Oh, we never had sex but, he bragged about it 24/7. He was like "I want a penile implant so I could have a foot long cock".
  
  
• Me: I'm not sure what the biggest cock I've ever experienced was...Sadly, probably the guy I lost my vcard too when I was eighteen. It honestly wasn't fun either haha. I just know big, medium, and small. Having sex with a dude who has a small penis has one perk: if they're assholes, you have ammo in an argument.
  
  
• Me: The funniest thing is if you see a guy with a small penis trying to put on a Magnum though. A guy I was seeing back home did that once. You know the best part? He's a stand up comic.
  
  
• Ten: Lol clearly that was one of his best jokes..but yeah I can't mess with my magnums. Best condom ever...and if I had a 10 incher I'd probably brag about it too...hell I'd walk with it out all day..and why would anyone with a small one be a dick? That's dumb.
  
  
• Me: You've never heard of a Napoleon Complex, have you? Men with small dicks and/or short guys have it.
  
  
• Ten: Lol yeah I've heard about it but I just don't understand why they do it. Makes no sense.
  
  
• Me: They feel they have to overcompensate! Have you ever had a really short guy try to pick a fight w/ you?
  
  
• Ten: Lol never. Nobody picks fights with my giant ass.
  
  
• Me: So, I read something pretty funny today.
  
  
• Ten: What?
  
  
• Me: Well, apparently, "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" got higher ratings than Fox's coverage of the RNC convention haha
  
  
• Ten: I have no idea what honey boo boo is but I do know that the convention was a giant joke.
  
  
• Me: You've never seen "Toddlers and Tiaras", have you?
  
  
• Me: Yeah, I heard it was a shit show. I have no faith in this country politically nowadays...I heard Clint Eastwood made an ass out of himself. However, since Clint Eastwood is Clint Motherfucking Eastwood, I have no clue how that's possible
  
  
• Ten: Hell no! I gave up on politics a long time ago!