September 7, 2012
Dear Nurse I Saw This Morning,
They pulled the wool over my eyes. I really thought I was supposed to be seeing a doctor! You know, the people that you work for and who are probably smarter than you? Yeah! Those guys!
You are supposed to be nice. Really! I was pretty nice to you. Don't nurses do this thing called "taking care of people"? Anyway, what do I know? Well, I do know this: just because you make Honey Boo Boo Child's mom look like Kate Upton does NOT mean that you can take it out on me! Seriously, cut the attitude. As mean as it may sound, I'm kinda sad I didn't puke until AFTER our little visit this morning and, had I puked in your presence (specifically if a bit got on your shoe), I'm sure you would have written the doctor's note and realized the gravity of the situation. However, you're not even a doctor and I got out of bed at about 7 AM, very sick, risked a parking ticket, and dealt with the crap of someone I thought would be a doctor who was just a stupid, measly nurse who hates the world. After thirteen years in a profession where you take care of people, I would really hope that you get off of your power trip and actually start caring. Most of us don't enjoy being sick, please don't add to our distress with your presence. Do not tell me "that's just life". It's taking every ounce of decency not to talk to your supervisor or file a complaint for the way I was disrespected and spoken to. The only reason I am not doing this is because I firmly believe in karma. However, karma may also be the reason that you resemble a cross between an ogre and a very large troll.
But, here are a few notes:
Also, if any friends out there want to become nurses, don't end up being like this deplorable human I had to deal with. Yes, I know I've whined and ranted this week (thank you for putting up with me) but, enough's enough. "Nursing" sounds like "nurturing" and that's what you're supposed to do: nurture. So, please, do not be like Nurse Ogre I had to deal with and kinda wished I puked on. Instead, be the nice, loving nurse that has rainbows shooting out of every orifice of your body and a smile radiating because you love your job. Now, I know nurses and they work their butts off (and, the nursing they do is WAY harder than anything your fat ass could handle).
-Kate
Dear Nurse I Saw This Morning,
They pulled the wool over my eyes. I really thought I was supposed to be seeing a doctor! You know, the people that you work for and who are probably smarter than you? Yeah! Those guys!
You are supposed to be nice. Really! I was pretty nice to you. Don't nurses do this thing called "taking care of people"? Anyway, what do I know? Well, I do know this: just because you make Honey Boo Boo Child's mom look like Kate Upton does NOT mean that you can take it out on me! Seriously, cut the attitude. As mean as it may sound, I'm kinda sad I didn't puke until AFTER our little visit this morning and, had I puked in your presence (specifically if a bit got on your shoe), I'm sure you would have written the doctor's note and realized the gravity of the situation. However, you're not even a doctor and I got out of bed at about 7 AM, very sick, risked a parking ticket, and dealt with the crap of someone I thought would be a doctor who was just a stupid, measly nurse who hates the world. After thirteen years in a profession where you take care of people, I would really hope that you get off of your power trip and actually start caring. Most of us don't enjoy being sick, please don't add to our distress with your presence. Do not tell me "that's just life". It's taking every ounce of decency not to talk to your supervisor or file a complaint for the way I was disrespected and spoken to. The only reason I am not doing this is because I firmly believe in karma. However, karma may also be the reason that you resemble a cross between an ogre and a very large troll.
But, here are a few notes:
- When I tell you that one of my symptoms is that it “hurts when I talk”, this isn't for your information. This may shock you but, it really hurts when I talk because I'm really sick. So, don't interrogate me like I'm on “Law and Order: SVU”.
- You shoved a big, mean stick down my throat TWICE! Was that REALLY necessary? Also, I tried my best to “open wide” but, I have a tiny mouth. Seriously, would it kill you to be gentle?
- I was probably your second or third patient of the day (if that). I'm sorry if your kids hate you/husband won't sleep with you/your house burnt down/etc. However, that is not my problem. Seriously, lose the attitude. I'm sorry if your life isn't perfect but, who's is? I'd kill t be not sick so I could start training again, excel academically, and finish my first book (hopefully of many). I've already had to drop a class due to missing so many with this sinus/viral/Upper Respiratory Infection mess.
- I have deprived my poor readers for about two weeks because of how sick I've been and have missed a straight week of classes. If I'm throwing up, can barely speak (or stand up for that matter), randomly break into sweats, have no energy, and all I ask of you is a little note saying that I went to the doctor, don't give me a sarcastic shit-eating grin and say “Well, sorry but that's life.” I know damn well what life is, sweetheart. I might be half your age but, I am not a moron and have more drive in my pinky than your wrinkled, fat, useless ass.
- Did I already mention that I wish I had puked on you so you would have taken me seriously? Honey, you should have seen me puking in the toilet RIGHT after I came home. It was literally about a bucketful of puke.
- Don't be a smart ass and suggest something that I am later informed that I need a prescription for. Really, sweetie. Are you trying to mess with my head? I can barely fucking communicate with you and you really think that making my life that much harder is gonna help, don't ya? Well, it will help make sure of this: if I ever have to use the Health Center's services, I will NOT be utilizing your services and will insist on a real DOCTOR with this fancy piece of paper called an MD (meaning that he is a “Medical Doctor”).
- I had to cancel two dates with two VERY good looking, dark-haired men! Do you know how mad I am? I know I'm not too gorgeous first thing in the morning when I have what might be the second coming of the Bubonic Plague but, I clean up pretty well.
- The Mucinex you suggested sorta helped. I'll admit that much. But, you know what helped more? Kisses from my friend's puppy and a shot of Jameson.
- I think I deserve a sticker for this torment. However, the free condoms and dental dams are not bad either. But, a sticker and/or lollipop was preferred.
Also, if any friends out there want to become nurses, don't end up being like this deplorable human I had to deal with. Yes, I know I've whined and ranted this week (thank you for putting up with me) but, enough's enough. "Nursing" sounds like "nurturing" and that's what you're supposed to do: nurture. So, please, do not be like Nurse Ogre I had to deal with and kinda wished I puked on. Instead, be the nice, loving nurse that has rainbows shooting out of every orifice of your body and a smile radiating because you love your job. Now, I know nurses and they work their butts off (and, the nursing they do is WAY harder than anything your fat ass could handle).
-Kate
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